A-List Lips Resign in Protest After Kylie Jenner Expresses Bitter Cosmetic Remorse

It’s a rough week for silicone. Jamie Lee Curtis and Julia Fox have officially joined the 'Why Did I Do That?' club, leaving their former enhancements feeling like yesterday’s news. It turns out that being a millionaire means you can buy a whole new face, but you can’t buy a time machine to stop yourself from ordering the 'Frozen Forehead' special at the local vanity clinic. Kylie Jenner is leading the charge, admitting that maybe, just maybe, having lips the size of two overinflated pool floats wasn't the vibe for the long haul. Sources inside Kylie’s bathroom mirror say her pout is absolutely devastated. One filler molecule was overheard crying, claiming it only wanted to help her sell lip kits and now it’s being treated like an unwanted houseguest at a Coachella afterparty. Meanwhile, Julia Fox is keeping it real by admitting she’s over the whole 'nips and tucks' lifestyle. It’s a classic case of buyer’s remorse, but instead of a bad pair of shoes, it’s a brow lift that makes you look like you’re constantly witnessing a crime. The message is clear: if you’re thinking about going under the knife, just remember that even the richest people on Earth eventually wake up and miss their original chin. We’re expecting a mass exodus of celebrity cheekbones by Friday. If you see a pair of high-end implants hitchhiking down Sunset Boulevard, please give them a ride—they’ve had a very stressful week of public rejection.