Air Kristin: Cavallari Sips Caviar While Offspring Negotiate Over A Single Tiny Bag Of Pretzels

Honey, if you thought your mom was tough for making you eat your peas, you haven't met Kristin Cavallari. The queen of Laguna Beach has officially turned the friendly skies into a lesson in class warfare. While Kristin is busy reclining her seat into a flatbed and debating which vintage wine pairs best with blue skies, her children are back in row 42, fighting for their lives and the last available armrest. She’s calling it 'financial responsibility,' which is a fancy way of saying she’s not sharing the warm cookies. Apparently, her sons have already started little summer businesses, probably to save up enough frequent flier miles to see their mother’s face before they hit puberty. It’s hard out here for a pre-teen mogul when you’re stuck behind a crying baby while Mom is getting a hot towel treatment three cabins ahead. Imagine the family reunion at the baggage claim. Kristin walks off the plane glowing, hydrated, and smelling like expensive lilies, while the kids stumble out covered in snack crumbs with their knees permanently locked in a 90-degree angle. It’s a bold move, but hey, if they want that legroom, they better start selling more lemonade or whatever tiny millionaires do these days. We can only assume the next family vacation involves her taking a private jet while the kids follow behind in a gently used minivan.