Alicia Silverstone Replaces Famous Yellow Plaid Suit With Sustainable Sheet Of Organic Seaweed

Cher Horowitz has finally traded the Beverly Hills zip code for a kelp forest, and honestly, it’s a vibe. Alicia Silverstone was spotted yesterday wrapped in what looked like a giant sushi roll, proving that being totally buggin’ about the environment is the new high fashion. She’s reportedly ditched the flip phone for a telepathic connection with a rescue goat and refuses to wear anything that won't biodegrade in a backyard pit within forty-eight hours. Stacey Dash is apparently frantic because the seaweed isn't color-coordinated with her giant hat, but Alicia doesn't care. She’s too busy misting herself with artisanal rainwater and teaching Paul Rudd how to age backwards using only the power of positive vibes and fermented cabbage. Paul, of course, looks exactly the same as he did in 1995, probably because he's actually a high-end android powered by hidden Duracell batteries. Word on the street is the new wardrobe smells a bit like a tide pod at low tide, but who cares about scent when you're saving the planet? Alicia’s closet is now just a damp aquarium, and her iconic motorized rack has been replaced by a very confused man named Jasper who specializes in sustainable kelp-weaving. If you see her at the grocery store, please do not try to dip her hemline in spicy mayo.