Anne Hathaway Enters Heroic Fugue State After Reading Too Many Ancient Greek Epics

It finally happened, babes. Anne Hathaway has spent so much time on The Odyssey press tour that she actually thinks she’s a weary mariner trying to get back to Ithaca. Witnesses spotted her wandering through NYC in a toga made of pure Italian silk, shouting at a confused pigeons about the 'treachery of Poseidon' while trying to find a Starbucks that accepts drachmae. While Anne was busy dodging imaginary sirens near a Construction zone on 5th Avenue, Rihanna and Jay-Z decided to drop the biggest vibe check of the century. Riri literally descended from the rafters during Jay’s set like a glittery goddess, probably just to distract the public from the fact that Anne was currently trying to tie a goat to a fire hydrant outside the venue. Listen, we love a method actress, but Annie is taking the 'Star Tracks' vibe way too literally. She wasn't just 'stepping out' in New York; she was navigating the treacherous shoals of a Midtown traffic jam with a compass she drew on her palm in eyeliner. Meanwhile, Jay-Z and Rihanna were giving us the musical reunion of our dreams, completely oblivious to the fact that a panicked intern was chasing Anne with a pair of sensible trousers and a tall latte. Let’s hope she finds her way home soon, or at least finds a red carpet that doesn't trigger a twenty-minute monologue about the Cyclops. In the meantime, we’ll be over here playing Rihanna’s surprise appearance on a loop and wondering if Anne’s toga is available in a size small.