Anne Hathaway’s White Skirt Causes Global Fabric Shortage and Inter-Dimensional Wardrobe Envy

Anne Hathaway just announced her pregnancy, but the internet has collectively decided that the real star of the show isn't a human infant—it's her white maxi skirt. This garment is apparently so powerful it has the ability to make everyone forget she’s actually growing a person and instead focus on how much we all need to look like walking, laundry-day ghosts. It’s airy, it’s white, and it’s radiating enough 'I have a gardener' energy to power a small suburb. Now, the fashion detectives are losing their minds because apparently this skirt is 'reminiscent' of things Zenadaya and Katie Holmes have worn. In the tabloid world, this is basically a declaration of war. Did Anne raid their closets while they were at brunch? Did they all sync up their calendars to ensure the global supply of white linen reaches a critical low? We may never know, but we do know that if you aren't wearing a skirt that looks like a high-end bedsheet this week, you are legally irrelevant. The rumors are swirling that the skirt is so smart, it actually does Anne's taxes and picks the best organic kale for her. While the rest of us look like we’re wearing a rejected toga-party outfit when we attempt the maxi look, Anne is walking around looking like a literal summer breeze. Stay tuned as we investigate whether the skirt is actually a sentient being trying to secure its own talent agent.