Bachelor Antagonist Courtney Robertson Decides Her Final Rose is Actually a Divorce Decree

Pour one out for the woman who taught us all that a black bikini is a weapon of mass destruction. Courtney Robertson, the undisputed queen of the 'I’m Not Here To Make Friends' era of reality TV, has officially filed for divorce from Humberto Preciado. After nearly six years of marital bliss, Courtney apparently looked around and realized there were no camera crews or Chris Harrison types waiting in the bushes to hand out extra validation. Word on the street is that the trust bucket went bone-dry, which is ironic considering her entire brand was built on being the most delightfully untrustworthy person in a hot tub. We all remember when she snatched Ben Flajnik away from a group of weeping preschool teachers, and honestly, we expected that same chaotic energy to keep this marriage spicy forever. Alas, even the most legendary bachelor villains eventually get tired of sharing the remote. What’s next for our favorite rose-snatcher? She’s probably already scouting locations for her next dramatic exit, hopefully involving a floor-length gown and a helicopter. If Courtney has taught us anything, it’s that life is just one long elimination ceremony, and she’s the only one allowed to hold the boutonniere. Get back out there, girl; the winery owners of America are waiting.