Beyoncé Spotted Buying Tater Tots at Gas Station to Maintain Mortal Relatability

It’s been a minute since Beyoncé was a regular person, and honestly, the struggle is real. Sources say the superstar has been visiting her old stomping grounds not for the stadium tours, but to remind herself what a 'Value Menu' looks like. She was seen wearing a floor-length silk trench coat just to pick up some spicy fries, because if you’re going to eat like a local, you have to look like a legend. Gwyneth Paltrow is reportedly horrified, having texted the group chat to ask if potatoes even exist in the wild without a light dusting of truffle oil and a blessing from a shaman. But Bey isn't backing down. She’s leaning into her Texas roots so hard she might start charging five hundred dollars for a 'Curated Box of Local Dirt' on her website next week. Word on the street is that Reese Witherspoon is getting in on the action too, supposedly scouting the best spot in Nashville to buy 'authentic' gas station sunglasses. These stars are so desperate to be 'from' somewhere that they’re willing to risk a stomach ache just for the street cred. We see you, girls. Just remember: the napkins at the local diner are not made of Egyptian cotton, so please stop trying to use them as pocket squares.