Carrie Underwood Reveals Feet-Binding Strappy Sandals Are Secret Weapon Against Gravity

Move over, NASA. Carrie Underwood has officially solved the problem of staying grounded while being a global superstar, and all it took was forty-seven miles of leather straps wrapped around her ankles. Insiders say Carrie is finally over the flip-flop lifestyle because she’s tired of her toes having too much freedom. She wants them locked down like a maximum-security prison. The 'Before He Cheats' singer stepped out in sandals so complex they actually come with an IKEA instruction manual and a spirit level. Critics are calling it 'sophisticated,' but we know the truth: those straps are the only things keeping Carrie from floating directly into the stratosphere during a high note. If she unbuckles those babies, she’s airborne, people! Friends say the morning routine now involves three hours of lacing and a light application of WD-40 just to get the heels to click. It’s fashion, it’s architecture, and it’s a tripping hazard that would make a tightrope walker sweat. But hey, if you want to look this good, you have to be willing to lose circulation in at least three toes by lunchtime.