Country Legend Alan Jackson Suddenly Outnumbered by Tiny Humans in Diaper Coup

It’s over for Alan Jackson. The man who taught us all about life on the Chattahoochee has officially lost his house to a gang of infants. Alan just announced the arrival of Samuel Hudson Carrington, his third grandson and fifth tiny overlord overall. Insiders say the baby arrived with a very specific rider that includes lukewarm milk and the right to scream during the high notes of 'Drive.' Denise and Alan are reportedly thrilled, though Alan is reportedly confused about why none of these children can play the fiddle yet. He’s spent decades rocking stadium stages, but now he’s mostly rocking a nursery chair while trying to remember where he put the pacifier. Samuel is already being groomed for a career in making his grandpa feel very, very old. Friends say the house is now a tactical zone of stray blocks and pureed carrots. Alan may have the platinum records, but Samuel has the ultimate power: the ability to wake up the entire household at 3:00 AM just because he felt like it. We’re expecting a new single about the heartbreak of running out of wet wipes any day now.