Country Singer Dalton Davis Expecting Toddler to Negotiate Peace Between Worms and Cats

Dalton Davis and Chelsea Shea have officially entered the 'no sleep until 2045' phase of their lives. The country star and his makeup-expert partner just welcomed a daughter named Birdie Love, which sounds less like a human infant and more like a very expensive brand of organic artisan granola you’d find in a boutique hotel minibar. Chelsea is used to blending away dark circles, but sources close to the nursery say Birdie is currently providing enough under-eye baggage to require industrial-grade concealer. Dalton is reportedly trying to teach the newborn how to strum a guitar, but she’s currently more interested in the abstract performance art of screaming at 3:00 AM because a sock touched her toes. While the name Birdie suggests she might take flight, we’re mostly concerned about the logistical nightmare of a toddler named Love having to navigate high school. Can you imagine the heartbreak? Dalton better get ready to chase away every boy in town with a banjo, because a Birdie in the hand is worth two in the VIP lounge.