Courteney Cox Dumps Snow Patrol Frontman After Realizing Chasing Cars Is Dangerous

Honey, pour a glass of something expensive because Monica Geller is officially back on the market! After ten years of dating a man whose band name sounds like a frantic winter weather advisory, Courteney Cox has finally decided that 'Snow Patrol' belongs on a ski resort and not in her living room. Word on the street is that Courteney got tired of having her heart broken every time Johnny McDaid hummed a minor chord. Ten years is a long time to spend with a man who is legally obligated to stare wistfully into the distance whenever a piano is nearby. She reportedly realized that life is too short to date someone who makes music for people to cry to while sitting in traffic. Our girl is looking for a fresh start. No more moody Irish ballads or contemplating the meaning of life over a lukewarm Guinness. She’s ready for someone who knows how to fold a fitted sheet and doesn't ask her to 'just listen to this one bridge' for the four-thousandth time. Watch out, Hollywood! Courteney is glowing, growing, and probably deleting every single Snow Patrol playlist from her phone as we speak. If you see her out tonight, don't ask about the breakup—just buy her a martini and promise you don't own a guitar.