Derek Hough Demands Mirror Ball Trophy Be Remade Into Giant Golden Panettiere Statue

Honey, hold onto your hairspray because Derek Hough is taking 'tribute' to a level we haven't seen since the invention of the sequin. Word around the studio is that Derek isn't just reflecting on Hayden Panettiere’s career; he’s trying to legally change the name of the 'Moonwalk' to the 'Panettiere Pivot.' He was seen aggressively bedazzling a life-sized cardboard cutout of the actress while humming the 'Nashville' theme song at three times the normal speed. Not to be outdone, Viola Davis reportedly delivered a three-hour monologue to her houseplants about Hayden’s impeccable ability to rock a bob. Viola’s houseplants are now reportedly unionizing for better lighting, but they agree that Hayden’s impact on the hair industry is nothing short of a global phenomenon. It’s a total vibe, honestly. Meanwhile, the rest of the celebrity world is in a complete tizzy. There are rumors that Kelly Osbourne is lobbying to have Hayden’s face added to Mount Rushmore, but only if they can carve the sunglasses correctly. If these stars get their way, we won’t just be remembering Hayden; we’ll be living in a constitutional monarchy where she’s the Queen of Everything and Derek is the Minister of Jazz Hands.