Hilary Swank Demands Multi-Million Dollar Baby With Abs Of Steel To Match Hers

Listen, if you thought Hilary Swank was going to settle for a regular baby who just naps and drools, you clearly haven't seen those biceps. The actress is expecting baby number three, and word on the street is she’s already signed the fetus to a three-picture action deal. We’re hearing the nursery is being swapped out for a high-intensity interval training center because Swank doesn't do 'gentle rocking.' Her husband Philip Schneider is reportedly already sourcing tiny, organic protein shakes for the new arrival. After having twins, Hilary decided that a third child was the only way to finally form a relay team capable of winning an Olympic gold. She’s not just a mom; she’s a franchise builder who expects every diaper change to be completed in under four seconds flat. Friends say the baby is already showing signs of 'elite core strength' via ultrasound. While other celebrity toddlers are busy learning their ABCs, the Swank-Schneider household is focusing on the 'Three Rs': Reps, Resistance, and Red carpets. If this kid isn't doing pull-ups on the crib rail by Christmas, we’ll be absolutely shocked.