Jelly Roll and Bunnie Xo Split: Country Star Reclaiming 400 Square Feet of Tattoos

It is a dark day for the rhinestone industry and people who love seeing couples coordinate their hair bleach. Jelly Roll and Bunnie Xo have officially signed the papers, effectively ending the most tattooed union in modern history. Insiders say the air in Nashville has grown significantly less sparkly now that the podcaster and the man who single-handedly keeps the face-ink industry afloat are heading to separate corners of the tour bus. Fans are naturally devastated, mostly because they won't know whose hand to hold during emotional power ballads anymore. Rumor has it Jelly Roll is already planning to cope by getting a giant mural of a heartbreak emoji tattooed directly onto his kneecap, while Bunnie is reportedly looking for a new place to store her extensive collection of neon wigs and platform heels. The split is being described as 'amicable,' which in celebrity speak means nobody threw a Grammy through a stained-glass window... yet. We’re hearing the biggest hurdle in the settlement wasn't the bank accounts or the houses, but rather deciding who gets custody of the shared glitter supply. For now, we recommend everyone put on their baggyest flannel shirt and cry into a plate of hot chicken in solidarity. The era of Bunnie and the Roll is over, and we are all just slightly less glamorous for it.