Jennifer Aniston and Kate Middleton Spark Global Shortage of Fancy Tablecloths

It’s finally happened, people. The A-listers have run out of silks and satins and have moved onto the kitchen linens. Jennifer Aniston and Princess Kate Middleton were both spotted rocking gingham recently, which basically means if you aren't dressed like a 1950s preserve jar, you are socially deceased. Jennifer was seen looking effortless in the checkered print, probably while sipping alkaline water and laughing at the concept of aging. Meanwhile, Kate Middleton is out here proving that even a future Queen can make a picnic blanket look like high-stakes diplomacy. It’s a bold move that screams, 'I might be heading to a gala, or I might be hiding a wicker basket full of artisanal cheese.' Naturally, the world has gone feral. Local craft stores are being looted by fashionistas desperate to wrap themselves in checkered cotton. My neighbor Martha is currently wearing a set of napkins she taped together because she heard Jen-An did it. If you see a celebrity in a red-and-white print this weekend, do not—I repeat, do not—try to lay your potato salad on them. We’re hearing that the next trend involves wearing wicker baskets as hats, but for now, just try to blend in with your nearest patio furniture. If it's good enough for the 'Friends' star and the British Monarchy, it's good enough for us mere mortals who actually have to buy our own groceries.