Jennifer Aniston Seen in Dress Costing Less Than Literal Canned Beans

Honey, grab your magnifying glass because Jennifer Aniston was spotted wearing a summer outfit so affordable it’s basically an insult to her tax bracket. We used to think Jen only touched fabrics woven from the silk of extinct spiders, but apparently, she’s entered her 'budget queen' era. Critics are calling it chic, but my bank account is calling it a personal threat. Nicole Kidman joined the fray too, looking like a million bucks in a dress that retails for the price of a fancy salad. It’s a confusing time for us plebeians. If the Hollywood elite starts shopping at the dollar store, what are the rest of us supposed to wear? Do I have to start tailoring my grocery bags just to keep up with the trends? Rumor has it Jen’s next red carpet look is just three bath mats stapled together with a 'Clearance' sticker pinned to her forehead. Honestly, she pulls it off. It’s annoying. I put on an $8 shirt and I look like a soggy burrito; Aniston puts one on and the fashion world collapses into a black hole of envy.