Jesse Plemons Refuses To Blink At Premiere As Kirsten Dunst Holds His Eyelids Open

Spotted: Kirsten Dunst practically forklifted husband Jesse Plemons onto the red carpet this week, and honestly, we relate. Jesse looked like he was trying to solve a complex long-division problem in his head while standing in front of a thousand strobing lights. Kirsten, being the absolute queen of supportive wives, was seen whispering 'don't you dare sneeze' into his ear every three seconds. Word on the street is that Jesse is taking his craft so seriously lately that he's forgotten how to be a normal human who blinks. Tom Cruise was also lurking nearby, probably trying to recruit the couple into a high-stakes staring contest or a multi-level marketing scheme for jet fuel. Tom apparently taught Jesse that blinking is a sign of weakness and that true movie stars absorb the camera flashes directly into their retinas for extra energy. Glen Powell was there too, blinding everyone with a smile so white it could be used as a maritime lighthouse. Meanwhile, Kirsten spent the night acting as Jesse’s human tripod, ensuring he didn't tip over while maintaining his terrifyingly intense 'pre-Oscar' gaze. If this is what method acting looks like, someone please get these people a nap and a very dark room.