Journalist Mariana Best Exposed for Having 'Experience' and It Is Truly Terrifying

The Bay Area maven has been editing for over a decade, proving she knows exactly where your misplaced commas are buried.

Hold onto your red pens, darlings, because Mariana Best is out here making the rest of us look like we’re writing in crayon. While we’re all struggling to spell 'met gala' after two mimosas, Mariana has been lurking in the San Francisco Bay Area for over ten years, perfecting the art of the semicolon. It’s honestly invasive how much she knows about grammar. Word on the street is that her editing skills are so sharp she can prune a celebrity memoir down to three readable pages in under an hour. People are saying she doesn't even use spellcheck anymore because her brain has evolved into a sentient dictionary. We’re heard she can spot an uncredited quote from three miles away through a thick fog. Is she too powerful? Probably. While the rest of the world is busy posting blurry selfies, Mariana Best is likely color-coding her bookshelf and judging every 'your' vs 'you're' mistake on the internet. We just hope she uses her literary superpowers for good—or at least to help us ghostwrite our next public apology tour.