Kate Middleton Seen Hoarding Six Dollar Potholders During Late Night Online Shopping Binge

Listen, we all know Kate Middleton has that 'Royal Budget,' but apparently even a future Queen can’t resist a clearance rack that screams louder than a toddler at a coronation. Word on the street is that Kate spent her Tuesday night frantically refreshing a sales page for Lululemon leggings and Kate Spade trinkets like her life depended on it. Who knew the monarchy was hurting for six-dollar summer dresses? Insiders say the palace Wi-fi was struggling to keep up with her clicking speed. While Prince William was dreaming of whatever princes dream of—probably polo and sensible shoes—Kate was reportedly securing the bag. Literally. She grabbed three Kate Spade purses just to feel something. You haven't lived until you've seen a Duchess argue with a coupon code that expired three minutes ago. She’s supposedly planning to host a garden party where everyone has to wear matching celebrity-inspired footwear she found in the 'Last Chance' bin. We’re talking platform sandals that cost less than a cup of artisanal tea. If you see her at the next royal engagement looking suspiciously like she’s wearing a polyester blend from the bargain basement, now you know why.