Katherine Ryan Ranks Her Offspring Like Hot Garbage In New Parenting Tier List

Katherine Ryan has finally done what every mother secretly dreams of doing during a long flight: she’s ranked her children from 'Absolute Icon' to 'Total Freeloader.' In a move that has suburban moms clutching their wine spritzers, Katherine announced that her eldest, Violet, is the undisputed champion of the household, leaving the younger ones to fight for the scraps of her affection like contestants on a very low-stakes reality show. While most parents lie through their teeth and say they love all their children equally, Katherine is keeping it a hundred. She’s essentially told her toddlers that they lack the 'vibe' and 'professionalism' of their older sister. It’s a tough day for the nursery set when your own mother points out that you haven’t contributed anything to the household except for sticky fingerprints and noise. Katherine didn't stop at just picking a winner; she went full savage by labeling her younger brood as 'privileged nepo babies.' Imagine being three years old and getting canceled by your mom for having an easy life. If these kids want to get back into their mother’s top tier, they’re going to need to start booking their own stand-up specials and paying for their own organic juice boxes. We can only hope Violet doesn't let the power go to her head. Being the favorite is a heavy crown, especially when your siblings are currently plotting their revenge in the sandbox. Good luck to the runners-up—maybe next year you'll earn a spot above 'annoying roommate.'