Katie Holmes Dating a Real Life Painter Just in Case the Walls Need Touching Up

Katie Holmes and her new artist beau Jason Bard Yarmosky were spotted in the Hamptons looking so cozy that the local humidity might actually be their fault. While everyone else is busy dating method actors who refuse to break character even at a clam bake, Katie has pivoted to a man who understands primary colors and probably smells like turpentine and expensive dreams. Sources say Katie is absolutely thrilled to be dating someone who works with canvases instead of green screens. Every time they walk into a room, it’s like a living museum exhibit, except she’s the masterpiece and he’s just the guy hoping he doesn’t get brie on his vintage denim. They were seen posing together with the kind of smug energy only two people who know where the good wine is hidden can project. Friends are joking that Jason is basically a human filter for Katie’s life. If the lighting is bad in the kitchen, he just paints over it. If the vibe is off, he sketches a better one. It’s the ultimate celebrity life hack: why wait for the paparazzi to get your good side when you can date a man who can literally illustrate your cheekbones into the next century?