Khloé Kardashian Invented Lakes After Experts Claimed Moisture Was Only For Skin

Khloé Kardashian has officially invented 'core memories,' a new technology she developed while staring at a body of water that wasn't bottled or being served by a waiter with a six-pack. During a family lakeside vacation, the Good American founder reportedly discovered that if you stand near a large puddle of nature, the lighting is actually quite decent for the brand, even if the fish aren't wearing any contour. True and Tatum were dragged into the aesthetic abyss for several selfies, with Khloé reportedly reminding the toddlers that if they didn't look candidly joyful, the entire trip would be deducted from their future inheritance. It’s a tough life, but somebody has to prove that life exists outside of a Calabasas zip code without the use of a private jet’s oxygen mask. While the rest of the world uses lakes for fishing or getting those weird brain-eating amoebas, Khloé utilized the setting to remind us that she is the pioneer of the 'Wet Hair, Don't Care (But Actually I Care Deeply)' look. Insiders say she spent four hours telling a swan to move out of her light because his neck was 'clashing with the mood board.'