Kylie Jenner Reinvents Biological Clock By Aging Her Children At Warp Speed

The social media mogul skips the terrible twos entirely by simply manifesting her toddlers into fully grown elementary school students overnight.

Kylie Jenner has officially completed her final evolution into a Time Lord. While the rest of us are out here aging one year at a time like losers, Kylie has decided that linear time is simply ‘not the vibe’ for her household. She just dropped a photo of Aire looking like he’s ready to apply for his learner's permit and Stormi looking like she's about to start a suburban book club. Fans are absolutely losing it because apparently, we all blinked and missed four entire years of developmental milestones. One minute they’re aesthetic props in a neutral-toned nursery, and the next, they’ve gained several inches and a decade of life experience. It’s giving Benjamin Button, but make it fashion and extremely expensive. We suspect Kylie has a secret anti-aging serum that works so well it actually reverses the flow of time for everyone else in the house. While she stays eternally twenty-something, the kids are being fast-tracked to adulthood so they can start running her lip kit empire by next Tuesday. Honestly, skipping the diaper phase and going straight to 'eight-year-old attitude' is the ultimate billionaire power move.