Lindsay Lohan Celebrates 40th Birthday by Testing Father’s New Anti-Theft Social Security Shield

Lindsay Lohan has officially hit the big 4-0 and celebrated by doing the unthinkable: actually standing in the same zip code as her father, Michael Lohan. The beach bash was reportedly a ‘low-key’ affair, if your definition of low-key includes hiring a specialized security team to make sure Dad didn't try to sell their group selfies to a local bait shop within twenty minutes of the cake being cut. LiLo looked absolutely radiant in her birthday sunnies, mostly because they were dark enough to hide the inevitable side-eye every time Michael started a sentence with ‘So, I’ve got this great idea for a reboot.’ Sources say the reunion was heartwarming, though mostly because the caterers kept the chilled shrimp coming and the open bar was located at the opposite end of the sandbar from any working microphones. By the time the candles were blown out, the vibes were strictly ‘Parent Trap’ but without the fun British accent and with way more legal paperwork. Lindsay reportedly spent the rest of the weekend recovering from the stress of family time by staring silently at the ocean and wondering if 41 can be celebrated on a private moon base.