Lionel Richie Trapped in Ceiling While Dancing, Refuses to Come Down for Tea

Lionel Richie is officially 'doing well,' but neighbors are wondering if he’s doing a little too well. After a brief scare that saw him postponing shows, the velvet-voiced icon apparently decided to celebrate his return to form by literally dancing on the ceiling. Unfortunately, it turns out that at 77, gravity is less of a suggestion and more of a strict legal requirement. Fans were shocked when reports surfaced that Lionel had scaled his own foyer curtains like a caffeinated house cat. While he’s telling everyone he’s fine, he’s currently refusing to vacate the upper molding because the acoustics for 'Hello' are apparently 'divine near the smoke detector.' The singer has requested that all future meals be served via a very long velvet pole. His staff tried to lure him down with a plate of gourmet biscuits, but Lionel reportedly just winked and started humming a three-minute bridge. The man is indestructible, but someone please remind him that his joints are made of human bone and not high-tensile spring steel. Stay safe up there, King, but the carpet misses you.