Low Budget Shepherd: Kristen Bell Turns Living Room Into Illegal Discount Barbershop

Dax Shepard risks his scalp and his dignity as a Hollywood starlet experiments with sharp objects in their private kitchen.

Honey, lock up your luxury salon memberships because the Good Place is now a no-fly zone for professional scissors. Kristen Bell has officially retired from professional acting to become a rogue hairstylist, and her first victim is none other than her husband, Dax Shepard. The DIY buzzcut is the latest trend in a household that seemingly refuses to acknowledge that professionals exist for a reason. Dax is out here on the internet calling her his 'hot barber,' which is basically code for 'help me, my ear is in danger.' We all saw the photos. Kristen is standing there with the focus of a Diamond Heist specialist, wielding clippers like she didn’t spend the morning singing about snowmen. Honestly, if this acting thing dries up, she’s one bad review away from opening a kiosk at the local mall called 'Bell’s Buzzes.' It’s a slippery slope, folks. First, it’s a quick trim in the kitchen, and next thing you know, Dax is going to show up to a red carpet with a bowl cut and a lopsided mohawk because Kristen wanted to see if she could do a 'fade' after one glass of chardonnay. We love a budget-conscious queen, but someone please get this man a licensed professional before he ends up looking like a partially shorn alpaca. At the end of the day, it’s all about the chemistry. If your wife can’t threaten your hairline while you make bad jokes for the ‘gram, is it even a marriage? Dax seems happy to be the guinea pig, mostly because he knows he can’t say no to Elsa. Stay safe out there, Dax. We’re praying for your sideburns.