Matt LeBlanc and Friends Stars Demand Director Adopt Them Immediately as Fully-Grown Toddlers

Things are getting absolutely unhinged in the world of sitcom royalty. Matt LeBlanc, David Schwimmer, and Lisa Kudrow have officially decided that being Emmy-winning millionaires is over, and being pampered infants is in. The three icons just showered director James Burrows with so much 'paternal' praise that local social workers are checking if they've already moved their racecar beds into his guest room. Word on the street is that Joey, Ross, and Phoebe are tired of making their own doctor appointments. Matt LeBlanc was seen eye-balling a giant pacifier, while Schwimmer is allegedly practicing his 'I dropped my dinosaur' pout to ensure maximum sympathy. They aren't just looking for a mentor; they are looking for someone to cut the crusts off their sandwiches and tell them they're the smartest little actors in the whole world. Kudrow is reportedly leading the charge on the new 'Burrows is Daddy' initiative, which mostly involves the trio following the director around and asking 'Why?' every time he gives a stage direction. If being a legendary TV creator wasn't hard enough, he now has to figure out which one of them gets to sit in the front seat of the minivan on the way to the wrap party.