Megan Thee Stallion’s Frenchie Demands 15% Cut of All Future Stallion Global Touring Revenue

It started with a few cute Instagram selfies, but things have taken a dark turn in the Stallion household. Sources closer than a flea on a rug say Megan Thee Stallion’s celebrity French Bulldog, Dos, has officially filed a cease-and-desist against his own mother. Apparently, being a ‘good boy’ doesn’t pay the bills in this economy, and the pup is tired of being paid exclusively in liver snaps while Megan cleans up at the Grammys. Word on the street is that Dos is demanding his own tour bus, a private hydration specialist, and at least three guest verses on the next album. He’s tired of being treated like an accessory when he’s clearly the one carrying the emotional labor of the household. If he doesn’t see a contract with six zeros and a lifetime supply of organic kibble by Friday, he’s threatening to leak the location of Megan’s favorite hidden snacks. Glen Powell’s dog, Brisket, is also reportedly looking into unionizing. The two pets were seen whispering near a fire hydrant about collective bargaining and 401k plans. It’s a ruff world out here for the furry elite, and these stars better watch their backs before their pets start charging for every tail wag.