Mila Kunis Forgotten Soap Opera Past Proves We Are All Hallucinating

Listen, if you told me Mila Kunis once spent her afternoons hiding behind fake potted palms in Salem, I’d call security. But the receipts are in: Mila and a bunch of other A-listers like Christina Applegate were once clocking in for shifts on 'Days of Our Lives' while we were all busy eating Go-Gurt and ignoring our homework. It’s honestly traumatic to realize that half of Hollywood has a secret past involving evil twins and falling down elevator shafts. Imagine being a young Mila Kunis, trying to deliver a moving monologue while a boom mic slowly descends into your bangs like a thirsty spider. That is the kind of character-building that prepares you for a career of dodging paparazzi at the grocery store. At this point, I’m convinced every person I know has secretly been an extra on a soap opera. My mailman? Probably played a rogue surgeon in 1994. My barista? Definitely a long-lost heiress with a vendetta. If Pam Anderson and Pat Sajak can survive the soap trenches, there is truly no excuse for the rest of us not to have at least one dramatic eye-twitch ready for the next time the Wi-Fi goes down.