Neymar’s Nursery Is Now Larger Than Most Small European Sovereign Nations

Neymar has spent his entire career mastering the art of the goal, but it turns out his real talent is filling up a car seat faster than a stadium on game day. He and the gorgeous Bruna Biancardi are gearing up to welcome yet another tiny human to their collection, officially turning their home into a high-end daycare center with better snacks than the VIP lounge at the World Cup. At this rate, the couple won't even need to hire a defense—they can just field their own starting eleven by 2035. Bruna is basically the CEO of Keeping It Together while her man bounces around the globe, and honestly, she deserves a trophy larger than any championship cup for navigating this many diaper changes in designer clothes. Friends say the nursery is being outfitted with gold-plated pacifiers and soundproof walls, mostly so Neymar can practice his dramatic falls without waking the newborn. We’re just waiting for the kids to unionize and demand their own sneaker deals before they even hit preschool. It’s a full house, a full heart, and a very tired bank account.