Paulina Porizkova Refuses to Age While Rest of Population Rapidly Decomposes in Greece

Paulina Porizkova is currently in Greece doing the unthinkable: looking exactly like Paulina Porizkova. While the rest of us are out here aging like open avocados left in a hot car, Paulina decided to celebrate her nuptials to Jeff Greenstein by posing in a bikini that has more structural integrity than most modern bridges. The pair recently tied the knot in Italy, but apparently, a pasta-based wedding wasn't enough to induce the standard human bloating we all know and love. Instead, Paulina is skipping across the Aegean Sea looking like she discovered the Fountain of Youth and is currently gatekeeping the location like it’s a secret sample sale. While husband Jeff is presumably just trying to keep up with the sheer majesty of it all, Paulina is busy proving that some people simply don't follow the laws of physics. It’s hard to tell what’s more blinding: the Mediterranean sun or the fact that she’s making sixty look like the new twenty-five while the rest of us feel eighty-two after walking up a single flight of stairs. We’re happy for the happy couple, obviously, but we’re also filing a formal grievance with the universe regarding these genetics. If she posts one more photo looking that radiant, we’re all going to have to collectively agree to stop eating bread until 2029.