Posh Spice Refuses to Let Sporty Spice Wear Sweatpants to Own Wedding

Victoria Beckham stages a high-fashion intervention to ensure Mel C doesn't walk down the aisle in a branded tracksuit and whistle.

In a move that surprised absolutely no one followed by a collective sigh of relief from the fashion police, Victoria Beckham has officially put her foot down. The artist formerly known as Posh Spice took one look at Mel C’s bridal Pinterest board—which we assume was just photos of different colored headbands—and said, 'Not on my watch, babe.' Beckham didn't just design one dress; she did two, mostly to ensure that Melanie Chisholm didn't try to sneak a pair of sneakers under a hoop skirt. Friends say Victoria spent weeks hiding all of Mel's velcro straps and moisture-wicking fabrics just to make sure the legal ceremony didn't look like the start of a 100-meter dash. Mel C reportedly looked stunning, though guests noted she looked slightly panicked every time she tried to do a high-kick and realized the silk chiffon wasn't aerodynamic. Victoria, meanwhile, spent the entire reception hovering nearby with a seam ripper, ready to strike if anyone even whispered the words 'platform trainers.'