Princess Charlotte’s Corgi Demands Dedicated Nanny and Custom Cashmere Knitwear Collection

Listen, we all knew the royal pets lived better than us, but this is getting out of hand. Princess Charlotte’s latest pup has apparently staged a sit-in—or a lie-down—until he gets his own dedicated staff member. Sources say the dog won't even look at a tennis ball unless it's been pre-chewed by a commoner and then sanitized in holy water. It’s a ruff life, truly. The real drama started when the palace tried to put him in a standard wool blend for the winter portrait. The corgi allegedly looked at the sweater, looked at the Queen Consort, and then promptly buried it in the rose garden. He’s strictly a cashmere boy now, and he’s demanding a bespoke wardrobe that coordinates with the seasonal Trooping the Colour palette. Palace insiders are joking that the dog has more influence over the kitchen menu than the actual heirs to the throne. If you see a small, furry blur wearing a pashmina and being carried on a silk pillow through Hyde Park, mind your business. He’s just living his best life while the rest of us are out here wearing polyester like peasants.