Reality Stars Marry In Florida Courthouse To Avoid Any Sudden Island Temptations

It’s official: Alexa Santamaria and Lino Troisi have secured the legal shackles at a Florida courthouse, effectively ending any chance of a last-minute mahogany-skinned lifeguard sweeping them off their feet. After surviving a literal island designed to destroy their trust, the pair decided that waiting until October for their big party was just too risky for their brand. Nothing says 'I trust you' quite like rushing to a government building in July because you simply cannot wait another three months to make sure the other person can't legally run away. The vibe was very 'Civil Servant Chic,' with Alexa and Lino trading the palm trees of their reality TV past for the fluorescent lighting and damp air conditioning of the sunshine state’s finest legal halls. Sources say the haste was mostly because they couldn't endure another summer as 'unmarried' people while living in the state that invented the concept of the Florida Man. By getting the paperwork done early, they can now spend the next few months arguing over flower arrangements and seating charts with the peaceful confidence that only a legally binding contract can provide. It’s the ultimate victory for a couple who once thought a bonfire was the best place to solve relationship problems.