Ron Howard Trapped in Kardashian Selfie Vortex While Jack Black Aggressively Shreads Banjo

It was supposed to be a sophisticated evening of cinema in the Hamptons, but things went sideways the second Ron Howard stepped onto the carpet. The Oscar-winning director was just trying to enjoy some coastal air when Khloé Kardashian reportedly confused his polished, reflective scalp for a high-end photography accessory and began pouting for a series of 'flawless' Instagram stories. Eyewitnesses claim Howard tried to explain he wasn't a professional lighting rig, but Khloé was too busy checking her angles. Meanwhile, Jack Black appeared out of thin air, brandishing a banjo and performing what he called 'Cinematic Interpretive Grunge' at maximum volume. It was the kind of high-society chaos you usually only see in a fever dream after eating too much lobster roll. Scarlett Johansson was also spotted in the mix, reportedly trying to hide behind a decorative shrubbery to avoid being tagged in Khloé’s grid. By the time the screening actually started, Howard was seen frantically googling how to block a reality star from his peripheral vision while Jack Black attempted to stage-dive into a crowd of very confused billionaire donors.