Rosie O’Donnell Claims New Face Is So Tight She Can Feel Her Childhood

Rosie O’Donnell is officially sixty-four and rocking a face that is tighter than a drum at a Broadway matinee. After dropping sixty pounds and getting a surgical refresh, Rosie claims she’s so snatched that she can actually feel her middle school graduation photos happening in real time. Our girl didn't stop at the skin-tightening, though. Between managing five kids and a new one-woman show, she’s basically living life at a higher frequency than the rest of us. She says being 're-famous' at this age is hilarious, mostly because she can finally fit into the costumes she wore on the set of A League of Their Own without needing a shoehorn and a prayer. While most of us are aging like room-temperature brie, Rosie is out here looking like she just discovered the fountain of youth in the middle of a Long Island strip mall. She’s leaner, she’s smoother, and she’s ready to tell everyone exactly how she did it, one punchline at a time. If the skin gets any tighter, we expect her next one-woman show to be performed entirely through a series of expressive blinks.