Separated Star Claims Husband Is Her Favorite Person After Locking Him Out

In a move that has logic professors everywhere sobbing into their textbooks, Mikayla Matthews took to the grid to announce that her husband Jace Terry is her absolute favorite human being in the entire universe. This is a very sweet sentiment, provided you ignore the teeny-tiny detail that the two are currently living in different zip codes and exploring the thrilling world of legal separation. Nothing says 'I love you, man' like a public birthday tribute to the person you collectively decided you couldn't share a bathroom with anymore. Mikayla’s post was dripping with so much sweetness you’d think Jace was a golden retriever instead of a man currently navigating the 'It's Complicated' checkbox of life. It’s the ultimate soft-launch of a breakup: keeping your favorite person exactly where they belong—on your Instagram feed and away from your kitchen sink. We here at Royal Trash are taking notes. Next time we block someone's number, we’ll make sure to send them a bouquet of 'You’re My Number One' balloons first. It’s called manners, look it up. If this is how she treats her favorites, we’d hate to see what she gets her enemies for their birthdays. Probably a gift card to a store that’s already gone out of business.