Sue Rose Finally Recruits Female Ally To Defeat Army Of Four Sons

The gender imbalance at the Rose-Vida household has finally been corrected, and not a moment too soon. After spending years living in a literal fraternity house of her own making, influencer Sue Rose has finally birthed a daughter, Melody Gisela Rose. This move is being hailed by tactical experts as the ultimate power play to finally secure a vote for 'watching rom-coms' instead of 'eating dirt' during family movie night. Josh Vida is reportedly thrilled about the arrival, mostly because he’s spent the last decade trying to prevent the four brothers from turning the living room into a full-contact wrestling ring. Insiders—meaning anyone with ears—claim the boys are currently confused about why the new roommate doesn't come with a pre-installed obsession with dinosaurs or ruining the white couch. Sue and Josh are now officially outnumbered five-to-two, proving that while they might be great at influencers-ing, they are terrible at defensive math. Melody is reportedly already preparing her first sponsored post, which is rumored to be a scathing review of her brothers' interior design choices involving sticky handprints and lost LEGO bricks. Welcome to the glitter side, Melody.