TIKTOK TERROR: Charli D’Amelio Aging Like Milk Since Reaching Ancient Age Of Twenty-Two

Charli D’Amelio has officially reached her retirement years at the ripe old age of 22, and she is sounding the alarm for all the other fossils out there. Our favorite dance queen took to YouTube to reveal that her mental state is basically a cracked iPhone screen now that she’s dealing with the 'struggles' of being a full-blown adult who has to, like, breathe and exist simultaneously. While most of us are worried about rent or actual back pain, Charli is spiraling because she’s no longer the teenage wunderkind of the internet. It turns out that when you stop being seventeen, the universe stops giving you free serotonin and starts giving you responsibility. She’s basically one bad hair day away from joining a knitting circle and complaining about the cost of organic kale. She admits that being 'independent' is a total vibe killer. Apparently, realized that being the CEO of your own empire means you actually have to make decisions that don't involve which ring light setting looks best for a transition video. Life is hard when you're a millionaire mogul with a waning interest in the Hype House lifestyle, guys. We’re sending our thoughts and prayers to Charli during this geriatric crisis. If things get any worse, she might have to do something truly drastic, like post a photo without a professional lighting crew or—heaven forbid—wear a pair of sensible orthopedic sneakers to the next gala.