Timothée Chalamet Mistaken for Scrawny Ball Boy During World Cup Semifinal Appearance

Spotted: Timothée Chalamet at the World Cup semifinal looking so much like a delicate Victorian ghost that the stadium staff reportedly tried to usher him onto the pitch to fetch loose balls. Sources on the ground say Timmy was just trying to enjoy the footy, but his cheekbones were so sharp they were legally classified as a hazard to the players' shins. Michael Jordan was also in attendance, presumably to teach the soccer players how to win six rings or just to make Timothée look even more like a human toothpick by comparison. While MJ took up three seats with his aura alone, poor Chalamet was seen clutching his scarf like a security blanket while screaming at the referee in a French accent that sounded suspiciously like a chocolatier in crisis. Meanwhile, Vanessa Hudgens was somewhere in the mix, probably wondering if she could turn the entire stadium into a Coachella VIP tent. The whole scene was pure chaos, with Hollywood's thinnest king nearly being blown away by a stiff breeze every time a goal was scored. Honestly, somebody get that boy a meat pie and a jersey that actually fits.