Zoey Deutch and Nick Robinson Claim ‘Chemistry’ Is Just Intense Eye-Watering Gas

Listen, we all watched the trailer and thought, 'Wow, Zoey Deutch and Nick Robinson are really feeling it.' The longing stares! The soft whispers! Well, sit down and grab a ginger ale, because the truth is much less 'Notebook' and much more 'Taco Bell drive-thru at 2 AM.' Zoey recently let it slip that their undeniable spark wasn't born of romantic tension, but rather a mutual commitment to eating the absolute worst snacks provided by production. Apparently, that misty-eyed look Nick gives her isn't soul-searching—he’s just trying to remember if he took an Antacid before the cameras rolled. He’s not looking into her eyes; he’s looking for the exit sign. Now they’re out here talking about 'themes of sisterhood and loss,' which is clearly code for loss of dignity during a twelve-hour shoot in a cramped room with zero ventilation. If this is what passes for Method acting these days, give them both an Oscar and a pack of Tums. Honestly, it’s refreshing to know that the only thing more explosive than their performances was the craft services menu.